people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
