You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
