So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize