Your face is a jimmy john
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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