her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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