You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
