Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
My bed smells like the plague
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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