I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
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