I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
