Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
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You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
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My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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