Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
