Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
either way he was missing a nipple.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Randomize
