At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
