he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
You were trust falling into bushes
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize