you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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