Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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