The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
he was CRYING into my vagina
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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