do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
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