I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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