There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
