Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
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He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
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Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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