if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
How external is "for external use only"?
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
