Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
