pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
