honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
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