Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
