i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Randomize
