i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
So much rum. So many feels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Randomize