my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
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