worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
