normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
