Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Randomize
