Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
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