Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
