:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
