This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
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