And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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