Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
everyone is single if you try hard enough
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
