A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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