It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
