He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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