OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
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