did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Randomize