Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Someone shattered a urinal.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Randomize
