you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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