omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
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