i just had sex bonerless
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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