Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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