I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
