so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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