Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
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Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
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The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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