are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
well you can't waste a boner
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
