You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
