i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
