There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
