I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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