Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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