dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
