I think i sorta joined a cult last night
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
