No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize