And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Randomize
