I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
