I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
