I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
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