No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
