omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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