My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
