well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
